I started Kind Eyes because of my own Beauty wounding and because I was blessed with the gift of seeing a woman’s Divine Beauty and being able to capture it with a camera. I have done a lot of personal growth work over the years to be a 52 year old woman, finally living in my body without criticism. There are many stages along the way – from not picking yourself apart to actually feeling beautiful – to truly falling in love with yourself. It touches me deeply to be a part of other women’s healing journey. It is truly my deepest wish and mission, to help all faces of the Goddess recognize themselves as the uniquely Divine Beauty they are.
Elaine’s story touched me so deeply. She found me through the miracle of Facebook – we were both taking a class in Owning our Worth online with Tosha Silver, so I knew we were like-minded spirits, seeking to “Let the Divine take the lead” and to “always know our Beauty Worth and Value”.
In her words:
“I grew up being told how ugly I was because I did not fit the mold of what a Chinese girl would be. I was tall and had dark skin. My mother was very fair and petite and people often asked if I was adopted or jokingly asked if picked up from the trash because I looked nothing like her. I remembered how hard it was to try to fit in and constantly hating my body for being so different from my family and friends. How I wished I was tiny and petite so I did not look like a monster.
Over the years, these lies perpetuated themselves over and over in all ways and forms. I hated the mirror and hated being photographed at all cost. ”
Interesting also what a negative tape on repeat and an internalized critical parent will do…while she grew up feeling like ‘a monster’, I was in awe of her amazing stature (and jealous of her long legs!). She was so nervous but we started dancing and had so much fun…she told me that it was unusual for her to be smiling in photos…in most of my favorite images she is laughing…there is nothing more beautiful than a woman enjoying herself!
Getting to know Elaine has been such a blessing. She is a super smart single mom from the Bay Area working in IT who rocks a lot of Patagonia and granny panties. But interestingly, her inner feminine had been leading her to buy lingerie (and lots of it) over the years. She showed up with such a great pile of sexy items that she had never worn. Although she said that this was WAY out of her comfort zone, she jumped in and allowed me to pick out the skimpy items worn here and bravely tottered around on her epic heels, purchased for the occasion.
“I cannot explain the magical connection during the session only that it transformed me. I felt like I was finally stepping into myself, the woman that I am. I felt at ease, I felt strong, I felt so comfortable, I felt curious, most important of all I love my body and how I wondered in amazement at my body for the first time. The magical moment when you look at yourself and you go Ah……
I do have moments after the shoot where I still pick on myself and my Body parts. However slowly and with more awareness, those moments are fleeting. I often look at my pictures and go “I don’t look like that at all” but then I smile and remember how magical, brave and strong I felt as a result of experiencing that photo shoot.
Owning my femininity, my sensuality is a huge step in my path of finding myself. Loving myself and honoring my body sounds simple and yet one of the hardest thing I learned to do.
To all my sister goddesses out there, Jill is our fairy goddess sister that sprinkles fairy dust and you too will see the amazingly beautiful soul that you are…..”
Elaine, thank you for allowing me to be a part of you journey, and thank you for generously sharing your story with us.
Photographed in Santa Barbara
Hair and Makeup by the lovely Page Berse